Naked
by Anne Bensler
Summary: A little something I've been wanting to write for a while. The pain of a man who wants to love a woman who can't give herself to him - Brian's song


**Naked**

**The pain of a man who wants to love a woman who can't give herself to him - Brian's song**

...

She's home. Or at least, that's what they call it when she comes into the apartment. Honey, I'm home. But she might as well not be here at all. I can't reach her. She has agreed to move in with me, but it's as if only her body moved into this place. Her mind? Her soul? I wonder where they are. I can't reach them at all.

I've tried to talk to her about what happened but she keeps brushing me off. Tells me she's protecting me. You don't want those images in your head, she says.

But I do.

Not because I find some perverted joy in them but because I want to know what she's been through. I want to understand her; get closer to her in any way I can. But she won't let me.

_Hey, you there  
__Can we take it to the next level, baby, do you dare?  
__Don't be scared  
__'Cause if you can say the words, I don't know why I should care_

_'Cause here I am, I'm givin' all I can  
__But all you ever do is mess it up  
__Yeah, I'm right here, I'm tryin' to make it clear  
__That getting half of you just ain't enough_

It's frustrating and I wasn't the most patient person to begin with. I know I'm not the smartest man she's ever been with but I'm not an idiot. She could talk to me if she wanted to. But she's always been like this, as if she's got something to prove. She can do it all on her own. She doesn't need my help. Nope. She's fine. She's always fine. I don't know if I can keep doing this much longer.

_I'm not going to wait until you're done  
__Pretending you don't need anyone  
__I'm standing here naked  
__I'm standing here naked_

_I'm not gonna try 'til you decide  
__You're ready to swallow all your pride  
__I'm standing here naked  
__I'm standing here naked_

I wonder if she realizes that I'm losing out here too. Maybe she thinks that as long as she has sex with me, I'm happy. I know how it looks sometimes but honestly, I'm not _that _shallow. I don't just wanna love her body. It's _her_. She's special. She's always been special and she doesn't even know it. But it's killing me that she won't let me get closer to her. It's eating me up inside and sometimes I just want to tell her to get lost, to be rid of the pain.

_Hey, get out  
__I've got nothin' left to give when you give me nothin' now_

But I can't. I could kick her out but I'll always want her back. I know that. She's my weakness. But as long as I can't reach her, what do we really have?

_Read my mouth  
__If you ever want me back, then your walls need breakin' down__  
_

She's like a fortress. I'm sure she's a safe haven for the broken people she comes into contact with on a daily basis. Strong, dependable, empathic, a defender of the weak. But all I can see these days are the gigantic walls that make up that fortress. She can reach out, but nobody can reach in, no matter how badly they may want to. And God knows, I want to.

_'Cause here I am, I'm givin' all I can  
__But all you ever do is mess it up  
__Yeah, I'm right here, I'm tryin' to make it clear  
__getting half of you just ain't enough_

_I'm not going to wait until you're done  
__Pretending you don't need anyone  
__I'm standing here naked  
__I'm standing here naked_

_I'm not gonna try 'til you decide  
__You're ready to swallow all your pride  
__I'm standing here naked  
__I'm standing here naked_

If you could only see that I wanna give you everything. I wanna give you everything! I believe I've got something to give but you keep pretending you don't need it. You don't need me. You don't need anyone.

_I'm not going to wait until you're gone  
__'Cause you pretended you don't need anyone_

I'm empty handed now. Disarmed. Naked. You've beaten me. You've won.

_Can't you see that I'm naked  
__I'm standing here naked  
__I'm not gonna try 'til you decide  
__You're ready to swallow all your pride  
__I'm standing here naked  
__I'm standing here naked_

You don't really see me and I know that it's time to make a decision. I make one last silent plea for you to see me but I know you won't. It's time to walk away and it's killing me inside. I will alway love you, my Olivia.

_I'm standing  
__I'm standing here_

**END**

**Song credit: "Naked" by James Arthur**


End file.
